


Clam Attack

by snapspark



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-24 23:33:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12023394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapspark/pseuds/snapspark
Summary: Taeyong is anxious beyond relief, and Doyoung is in the bathroom.





	Clam Attack

 

 

Doyoung is in the bathroom.

How could he.

In the middle of their mundane chat that Taeyong was willing himself to have Taeyong had said to him abruptly, “hey—”. And Doyoung had waited only a moment for him to explain himself before he held up a hand and said, Actually hyung hang on, tell me everything in a sec, I’ll be right back.

Taeyong didn’t need a sec. Taeyong didn’t need his full attention. Taeyong needed the opposite of what he got, which was for Doyoung to stop being in front of him.

 

Around him people drifted in and out, back and forth.

Inside his mouth, Taeyong’s teeth are chattering with craze. Even Taeyong space is breached—his command center under attack, sirens going off. Among the replicated noise in his head, he hears himself murmuring to nobody.

Is this really urgent?

Is this so important? 

_Is Dongyoung gonna die if he doesn’t go?_

_Couldn’t this have waited?_

_Can’t he pee faster?_

_When he comes back and I’m on the ground is he going to take responsibility?_

Taeyong thinks about lying down on the floor and letting out half-contained moans of terror. He thinks about Doyoung walking up, shaking off his sweet and freshly air-dried hands to discover his leader’s petrified body on the ground, shocked and ashamed by his own act of neglect.

He blinks at himself in the mirror melting miserably into his chair. 

_Kim Dongyoung, you—._

_You’ll be overjoyed, won’t you? Releasing the stress in your bladder?_

_Meanwhile can’t you tell that I am_ —he tries on the faces— _angry_?

 _Panicked_?

 _Clearly abandoned_?

There are five more minutes. Taeyong wants to take a look at what Mark is writing but Mark doesn't look like he wants to be looked at.

From behind, someone picks up his hand.

His teeth stop chattering and grinding.

 

“Breathe,” Youngho says. 

Taeyong tries to do it the way he sees Youngho does it, opening his chest up. Youngho’s hand is rough and warm. Taeyong holds on to it, stashes it safely into the pocket of his hoodie along with his own.

“What if I forget my lines?”

 

He imagines Doyoung across him, giving him a good hand rub and a really soft smile. Doyoung knows there’s no point talking sense into a kid who thinks the only car on a ferris wheel doomed to fall down is his own. Taeyong doesn’t need many words, just the opposite of what he has right now, really, just needs Doyoung in front of him. Pulls the weight off him every time, like a magnet. 

“Then you move on,” Youngho answers, above him like a voice from the sky, “to what you do remember.” Taeyong feels the unfamiliar words bathe over him, miraculously slowing his heartbeat and breath. It doesn’t feel like a cure or answer his questions, but Taeyong can see the charm in occasionally breathing when you need to keep yourself alive.

Someone calls for Youngho. He gives Taeyong a gentle squeeze on his hand before excusing himself from his loving captivity.

He’s beyond grateful, in the moment. “I forget you’re here. Sorry. Thank you.”

He gets a pat on the shoulder. Taeyong turns around to smile apologetically at Youngho but he finds Doyoung instead looking startled at the greeting.

Youngho is behind Doyoung, still keeping an eye on Taeyong and smiling back. When he looks back at Doyoung he feels like a lost child being handed back to his parent at the service desk of a mall. He wants to pout, wants to be apologized to.

“Come on, come on.” Doyoung’s hand is cold, lax at his side as he comes to stand beside him. “ _You_ just got yourself out of this! You did well.”

 

He yanks that hand. Takes back what is his.

Doyoung falls down beside him and the universe unpauses.

“Just, next time…you know?”

“Sorry. I know.”

Taeyong clenches his fist. Doyoung’s knuckles hurt but he has no plans to pull away.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the weibo live where, when asked the question how they relieve stress before a show, Taeyong answered 'scream' and Johnny answered 'breathe'. I love dotae


End file.
